Big Dating Myths and Some Surprising Truths

Big Dating Myths and Some Surprising Truths. Recent research has been proving some conventional courting wisdom to be totally bogus. When it comes to getting guys, we break down what works and what's old school.

Big Dating Myths and Some Surprising Truths

MYTH: When you're prepping to go out on the prowl, put on a barely there outfit — men like women who show lots and lots of skin.

TRUTH: A new study published in the journal Behaviour found that, to reel in the boys, the ideal amount of flesh you should reveal is 40 percent. A crop top and mini crosses the line from seductive to skanky.

MYTH: If you're into a guy, make the first move on him.

TRUTH: Smile at him, but then wait for him to come to you. A Northwestern University study discovered that the person who does the approaching usually ends up falling harder.

MYTH: While chatting him up on a date, focus on your shared interests.

TRUTH: Discussing stuff you have in common will make you feel connected. However, it's also key to talk about interesting personal experiences and hobbies that are different from his. According to experts, being exposed to new and exciting things increases the chemical dopamine in our bodies, and that in turn builds interest and passion.

MYTH: Eat a low-calorie meal like veggies and salad when out with a guy in order to show that you're attractive and take good care of yourself.

TRUTH: Despite a recent study from McMaster University in Canada that found women tend to do just that, most guys actually go for women who will eat a real meal in front of them, says Scott Kudia, author of If This Is Love, Why Am I Unhappy? Not that you should stuff your face, but men want to be with someone who will be herself around him. Nibbling at rabbit food can read as being phony and guarded.

MYTH: The first thing that grabs guys' attention is your eyes.

TRUTH: In a Cosmo and AskMen.com poll, 62 percent of guys notice a hot body. Only 27 percent are lured in by seductive eyes. (See myth #1 for a tip on how to show off your curves in the sexiest way.)

MYTH: It's a good idea to "friend" a guy you're dating, so that you can get to know each other better and feel closer.

TRUTH: A study published in CyberPsychology and Behavior found that being Facebook friends with the person you're seeing increases relationship jealousy (ahem, like by clicking through pics of each other with your respective exes). It also leads to a sense of over familiarity that can doom a relationship, particularly in the early stages.

MYTH: Don't talk about yourself too much on a date or you'll seem narcissistic. Instead, ask him plenty of questions.

TRUTH: You should absolutely show sincere interest in him. But it's equally essential to refer to yourself during conversation. Men go for women who use the word I frequently, according to a study published in Personal Relationships. Researchers surmise it's because that term indicates self-disclosure, which promotes intimacy and closeness. It also reflects your independence — a huge turn-on. ( msn.com )

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German man saved on frozen sea by webcam spotter

German man saved on frozen sea by webcam spotter. The man had climbed over pack ice off the coast to photograph a sunset near the town of St. Peter-Ording, then became disoriented on the ice, Husum police spokeswoman Kristin Stielow said.

Unable to locate the beach, the man began using his camera to flash for help. That got the attention of a woman hundreds of miles (kilometers) away in southern Germany who was watching the sunset over the sea on her computer.

AP – The sun shines onto the ice-covered beach of St. Peter Ording, at the north sea coast, Germany, on Thursday, …

The woman contacted police, who located the man's signals and guided him into shore by flashing their car lights. Officiers then lectured him on the dangers of trekking on the ice.

Police would not identify the man or the woman who spotted him. Stielow said he was a German tourist in his forties.

She said locals are well aware of the risk of disorientation as darkness falls and the beach becomes hard to identify, but vivid sunsets over frozen landscapes often draw people away from the shore.

At the time the man lost his bearings, the air temperature was below freezing. He could have frozen to death or fallen through the ice, Stielow added.

St. Peter-Ording is popular tourist destination known for its beaches and sailing, and the local tourism board runs a Web site with a webcam. The board, however, said images from the webcam are routinely erased and the dramatic flashes from the man's camera were not saved before the story came to light. ( Associated Press )

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When It Comes to Women's Weight, 'Healthy Size' Still Hard to Define

When It Comes to Women's Weight, 'Healthy Size' Still Hard to Define, The conversation about plus-size women and their relationship to the fashion industry has taken on new contours recently thanks to the current issue of V magazine, the celebrated young actress Gabourey Sidibe and a first lady who has decided to make combating childhood obesity her signature issue.

The rumblings about physiques-rotund and petite-should get even livelier beginning Feb. 11, when ready-to-wear designers in New York unveil their fall 2010 collections over the course of a week. (Their counterparts in Milan and Paris will follow soon after.) And that means attention will once again turn to the proportions of the models who walk their runways and who serve to define our culture's beauty aesthetic.

For several years, fashion observers have complained on blogs, in letters-to-the-editor and over cocktails with friends about the spindliness of models-lollipops wrapped in silk or cashmere is how they have derisively been described. And industry insiders have debated the cause and effect of these profoundly skinny mannequins on our self-image.

Do they push women to be more prone to eating disorders? Are they an insult to womanhood? Are they merely part of a designer's creative prerogative? Or are they the product of lemming-like style-makers who feel compelled to follow trends? It would be a welcome relief if the majority of those designers who put their wares on the runway in the coming months took a stand and refused to use models whose ribs are plainly visible and whose countenance cries "ill-health." What is the point of creeping out consumers, after all?

To be fair, a bit of headway was made in plumping up models when designers presented their spring collections a few months ago. The models were often still quite thin-much slimmer than they were back in the 1980s heyday of women such as Cindy Crawford or Naomi Campbell-but rarely did they look as though a strong wind would send them rolling down the catwalk like glittering bits of tumbleweed.

But after a volley of exhausting complaining, defending, finger-pointing and declaring one's right to creative license, a new conundrum has presented itself: It's hard to even know what an acceptable-size model is supposed to look like anymore. How big is big enough? And when does plus size, in a profoundly overweight population, become just as distressingly unhealthy an image as emaciation?

The niche fashion publication, V magazine, has received a significant amount of attention among style aficionados because of its "size issue," which features photos of women who measure in at size 12. The star of the issue is arguably the model Crystal Renn, who captures the same air of detached, unattainable glamour as any size 0, perhaps even more so because Renn is classically pretty rather than startlingly odd. But some of those readers who have seen the photographs of her have complained that she's ONLY a size 12.

She really isn't large enough to be considered a plus size, which despite the fashion industry's definition, most people consider to be a size 16 or larger, which is the threshold at which women typically find their fashion choices abruptly limited.

Just how big does a model have to be before folks are satisfied that she represents some ever-shifting vision of what a "real" woman looks like? Must she be precisely 5 feet 4 and a size 14, which is the fashion industry's accepted stats for the average woman? And if she is, will that transform the fantasy photographs in fashion magazines into the equivalent of catalogs? After all, a large part of our fascination with Hollywood is because it's populated with absurdly stunning men and women who are so far from average they ignite our wildest desires and persuade us to pay good money to go to bad movies.

The most compelling spread in V is the one in which the same ensemble is photographed on a skinny model and on a larger one. The lesson to a lot of women who have an insecure relationship with fashion is that they, too, can participate in the world of Dolce & Gabbana and Proenza Schouler. And the lesson to designers is that all sorts of women can make their clothes look good. Attitude often counts more than body size. Although, there are certainly times when no matter how good you THINK you look, reality tells another story. See: Mariah Carey at the Golden Globes.

The recent awards show also provided an opportunity to see the plus-size actress Sidibe, who stars in "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire," all glammed up. She has been dazzling interviewers with her charisma and Valley Girl patois. (She was also photographed for V.) And she has been a marvel of self-confidence in an industry that values thin. We have all seen the fan magazines with their sad tales of incredibly shrinking actresses. They shrink, in part, because they want to fit into the teeny-tiny clothing samples that they borrow from designers. They shrink for fashion.

The L.A.-based designer Kevan Hall created the gown that Sidibe wore to the Globes, a deep green, flowing floor-length dress with soft, short sleeves and beaded embellishment at the waist. He has worked with a lot of actresses who are what he describes as "special sizes" and the reality is that "it's all about picking the right silhouette for her shape."

And it doesn't matter if a woman is a size 2 or a size 16, "you're always treading lightly. I've had actresses who are a size 2 stand in front of me and weep. I've had young girls who want to cover their arms and older women who want to cover their arms," he says. The most significant difference in creating a dress for a larger size is that often a designer has to tamp down his ego. He can't as easily force his vision onto the woman since she doesn't have the physique of a hanger. "But at the end of the day, it's always really about the client," Hall says. "Let's be realistic, after all. What is the end-use of these clothes?"

One might also ask, what is the ultimate goal-on the part of the fashion industry-in celebrating the confident Sidibe? Is it about her work? Is it a fascination-a marveling-over this big girl who doesn't seem to have any existential angst about being big? Is it about a broader definition of beauty?

"I'm hoping that things are changing," says an optimistic Hall.

We all hope that we are getting closer to a less judgmental, more accepting society. But we also are faced with an uncomfortable question: How does a culture celebrate the beauty of all shapes and sizes even when statistics are telling us that certain sizes are unhealthy?

In V magazine's celebration of size, there's a group of photographs taken by Chanel designer Karl Lagerfeld of a voluptuous burlesque performer. The way she is depicted is unsettling because it reads as a kind of fat porn-that tendency to show heavyset women as overly sexed, ribald or just plain sideshow. Fashion fetishizes women all the time and in a host of different ways. But the one thing that fashion loathes is a cliche. And the worst cliche about large women is that they are creatures of insatiable appetites-both real and metaphorical. And, of course, the stereotype about the ultra-thin is that they are brittle and cold.

Somewhere between emaciation and obesity lies good health. And somewhere between those extremes there is also a definition of beauty that is inclusive, sound and honest. ( mlive.com )

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Is infidelity in?

Is infidelity in?. In urban India marriages don’t come with a lifetime warranty anymore. Fidelity is no longer an essential ingredient in a lot of modern marriages.

Tiger Woods might have lost his reputation and wife, but not everyone feels it’s wrong to be attracted to the opposite sex or even have an affair while one is still in a serious relationship. Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie even went on record saying, “I doubt that fidelity is essential for a relationship.”

Agreeing with her are today’s urban youth who seem to endorse the view that marriage is “an exercise in hypocrisy, where infidelity is bound to creep in” and it is fine to opt for pre-nuptial contracts and live-ins (the latter is perceived to be a more “honest” option). “Do whatever makes you happy” says filmmaker Rahul Aggarwal, who is of the firm view that societal norms make no sense. “I think what happens between two people is their business and their understanding. No third person can decide for them. So if they want to be unfaithful or faithful, it’s their personal choice,” he says.

Not many though subscribe to the view. Actress Celina Jaitley says, “Nothing is nobler or more venerable than fidelity. Faithfulness and truth are the most sacred excellences and endowments of the human mind. Every business, relationship, in fact every profession’s basic foundation is trust and loyalty. Fidelity is what differentiates us from animals.” Echoing her views is Sameera Reddy, who says, “I’m strictly against infidelity. Without trust, there’s no relationship. “Subscribing to the same thought is Tollywood actor Krishnudu who quips, “No faithfulness? It’s no marriage then. People who have no intention of being loyal to their partner better not marry,” he says. Actress Madhurima is of the firm view that “one should respect one’s commitments” and that applies not just to one area of life but to all others as well.

Psychologist Sujatha Raman succinctly puts it like this, “Unless there is a commitment, relationships don’t happen in the first place.” With people turning out to be increasingly commitment phobic people don’t seem to have the time to invest in a long-term relationship she observes and ascribes it to the dil maange more attitude that’s on the rise — “People are constantly looking for better options. We are always out looking for the perfect partner, but oblivious to our own imperfections,” she says.

Dr Prabhakar Korada says, “There are men and women who suffer from a personality disorder — they are hypersexual with a constant roving eye. These people get into affairs because of low self esteem and the need to project a much-in-demand image. The second category is of those living with an incompatible partner. These people can be helped through counselling. But that does not condone infidelity. Infidelity is nothing but deceit. ” ( indiatimes.com )

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Five Ways to Botch a Job Offer

Five Ways to Botch a Job Offer. After the Job Offer: What Not To Do. There's a viral video that probably everyone has been e-mailed: A cyclist nearing the end of a race raises his arms in excitement. Then falls off the bike, struggles to get back on and watches someone else cross the finish line first.

The tumble is a real-life example of counting your chickens before they're hatched and putting the cart before the horse. Basically, make sure you've done everything you're supposed to before claiming a victory.

When you're in the final stages of landing a job, keep those arms down and your brain thinking. As excited as you are to receive a job offer, you still have plenty of work to do before the first day of work.

Here are five mistakes you want to avoid once the employer has extended an offer:

1. Not negotiating salary

Chances are you avoided detailed salary talk until this moment. Now's the time to discuss it. Remember that many employers extend low offers with the expectation that applicants will negotiate, so don't feel pressured to accept immediately.

Compensation encompasses other perks, such as vacation days, telecommuting options and flexible schedules. If you're told the salary can't be increased, don't forget to mention these other options. Also, ask the hiring manager if you can revisit salary negotiations after six months. You don't want to sign on the dotted line, only to think you didn't ask for all you could.

2. Showing your split personality

Every employer knows you're on your best behavior when you interview. The impeccable attire, punctuality and excitement about the position -- that all fades to some degree after you've been on the job long enough. If it shows up the day after you've been offered the job, you've just sent a parade of red flags to your new boss. This includes suddenly calling your future boss by a nickname, talking about how trashed you're going to get tonight in celebration of the job or talking about the terrible breakup you're experiencing.

Your boss can rescind an offer for a variety of reasons, so don't act as if you're a professor who's made tenure just yet. Continue to be the driven professional who was at the interviews. Let your casual side show after you've settled into the position.

3. Badmouthing the company in a public forum

Hopefully you haven't already grown bitter toward your new employer and don't already harbor resentment of the company for some reason. (Why take the job if you do?) But don't say "Yes!" to the job one day and run off to Twitter to express how dumb your boss is the next. Posting on Facebook that "Jessica Jones just conned her new boss into paying her way too much!" is just plain foolish.

4. Looking like a liar

For a past job, I was offered the position after a lengthy interview process. I thought it was weird that they never bothered to call my references even though I had gone through several rounds of tests and meeting with the team. The day I was offered the position, my references were called to verify my work history.

If you're lying about anything, especially references or salary history, you can still get caught even after you've accepted the position. In fact, many offers are contingent on all of your information checking out. You should never lie during the hiring process, but if your application has false information (whether on purpose or accident), make sure you hand the employer the proper information before you look like a liar.

5. Playing games

Negotiating salary is one thing; dragging your employer along is another. You have every right to think over an offer and review the terms and conditions, but people have better things to do than wait while you twiddle your thumbs. Many job offers will come with a deadline that requires you to respond within days.

One reason you might be tempted to delay giving an answer is because you have another offer you're waiting on. Choosing one over the other is hard when the situation is so uncertain, but you do need to pick one or you could end up losing both. ( msn.com )

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Top Ten Reasons Your Job Search Isn't Working

Top Ten Reasons Your Job Search Isn't Working. You don't get it: You've scoured the Internet for jobs. You've blanketed the market with your résumé. You've sent a basic cover letter with every application. Why isn't anything happening?

While simply submitting your application materials and waiting for an opportunity to fall in your lap might have been enough to land a job at one time, the frustrating reality of today's job market makes that type of job search impossible. Instead, today's job seekers must go above and beyond if they want to stand a chance at landing a great opportunity.

Competing for work requires full engagement but generates significant momentum, says Jim Villwock, author of "Whacked Again! Secrets to Getting Back on the Executive Saddle." But many job seekers get distracted in their searches and get frustrated when they don't see results right away.

"Initially, it is overconfidence that the process will be easy and [that] time should be carved out for family, sports and other activities that were neglected when working. The opposite is true. Getting a job is usually more work than being employed," Villwock says. "The core mistake is not procrastination, not working on a résumé or not going to a networking meeting. It is not knowing the process and working the plan to get the job that you deserve."

Here are 10 reasons your job search might not be succeeding:

1. You aren't networking

No one can help you find a job if you they don't know you need it. Your friends, family and previous employers all know someone who knows someone, so utilize their knowledge and connections as you look for work.

Additionally, make yourself (and your job search) visible on social and professional networking sites like BrightFuse, Facebook or LinkedIn. According to a survey by Robert Half International, 62 percent of executives think professional networking sites will be useful while searching for candidates in the next few years. Thirty-five percent of respondents said they would use social networking sites as a recruitment resource.

2. You're skipping the cover letter online

For some reason, people can't get used to the idea of submitting a cover letter online, so they just skip the step altogether. Wrong move, people. Your cover letter is your chance to make a good first impression or address any inconsistencies on your résumé. When sending your application via e-mail, your cover letter serves as the body of the e-mail and your résumé is attached.

3. Your cover letter is generic

Now that we know you have to send a cover letter, the next step is making sure that it's not generic. You need to tailor each letter to a specific job and person, while clearly identifying the aspects of your background that meet the employer's needs, says Ane Powers, managing partner at The White Hawk Group, a career management firm.

"Your cover letter is your ticket to the interview. The ticket is voided and placed in the 'thanks, but no thanks' pile if it doesn't scream, 'I am a perfect fit for this position,'" she says.

4. You're procrastinating

Oftentimes, when we don't see the results we want, we get frustrated and worried. After applying to so many jobs without hearing anything, you just don't have the energy to update your résumé, write a targeted cover letter or follow up with a hiring manager, so you put it off until tomorrow, then the next day and the next day. But why put off until tomorrow what can be done today? Your dream job is not going to fall from the sky, so continue to endure and be proactive in your search.

5. You're searching for jobs only on the Internet

While job boards and company Web sites are a great starting place to find a job, the majority of open positions are never advertised, Powers says. Communicate with people who can help you: Human resource managers, recruiters and successful professionals will all be key in discovering new opportunities.

6. You're not doing your research

This might be the most basic piece of job advice out there, yet some people still choose not to follow it. Executives polled by Robert Half said 25 percent of candidates didn't have any knowledge of the company or industry to which they're applying.

Things change every day in business, especially in today's market. It's important to know of any changes going on at the company where you're applying. If you are applying for work in a new industry, do some research to prove that you can be a valuable addition to that field.

7. You're blanketing the market with your résumé

"Attractive candidates demonstrate strategic marketing. Blanketing the market with your résumé demonstrates desperation and lack of strategic thinking," Powers says. Don't send résumés to every single job opening out there. Identify the organizations that meet your requirements and go from there.

8. You're not following up

Too many job seekers assume that if they haven't heard back from an employer, it's because they've been shot down for the position. While that may be true, there is also every possibility that your résumé never made it to its final destination or it got lost in the flood of submissions. Eighty-two percent of executives say candidates should contact hiring managers via e-mail, phone or personalized letter within two weeks of submitting their résumés, according to Robert Half. Just contact the hiring manager to say that you wanted to confirm your application was received and ask if he or she needs anything else from you.

9. You have too many distractions

Try to focus on only your job search for a couple of hours each day -- don't check your personal e-mail, make phone calls or surf the Internet (unless it's for jobs).

"Conducting a job campaign is a full-time job. As with any job, to achieve results, one needs to set goals and develop an action plan to achieve the goals," Powers says.

10. You don't ask for the job

Many candidates are shy about being too outspoken or upfront about their desire for the job, but many hiring managers will be impressed with your candor.

"Employers are looking for candidates who are excited about the position," Powers says. Be forward and ask for the position by telling the interviewer why it is a good fit for you and the organization. ( msn.com )

READ MORE - Top Ten Reasons Your Job Search Isn't Working

What to Do When You're Labeled 'Overqualified'

What to Do When You're Labeled 'Overqualified'. Sherry Shealy Martschink, 57, is a former state legislator, state senator and workers' compensation commissioner for South Carolina. She's a recent law school graduate and has experience in journalism, marketing and education. For the past few years during her job search, she's been told -- in not so many words -- that she's overqualified.

"Sometimes the opposition is in the tone of voice rather than the actual wording of the questions and comments," Martschink says. "An employer may say something like, 'We are hoping to find someone who will make a career here' or 'Why would you want this job after doing such-and-such?' Another type of question has to do with whether I could be a team player after being in such leadership positions."

How does Martschink respond to such opposition? Plain and simple:

"If I weren't willing to do the work, I wouldn't be applying for the job," she says.

Geoff Tucker, who has a college degree and six years of experience in his field, has faced opposition more than once during his job search. In one interview, the hiring manager started with, "We both know you're overqualified," but went on to say she wanted to do a "gut check " to determine if Tucker would be OK with the tasks he'd be handling.

"In other words, she wanted to see if I was OK with being versatile to the point of helping clean around the office and refilling the toilet paper in the bathroom," Tucker says. "I affirmed that I do not have an issue with doing tasks that maybe I haven't had to do in awhile. I am not that egocentric and I don't regard these tasks as 'below me.'"

Many job seekers wonder how being qualified can be a bad thing, but it's a Catch-22 that many job seekers face today. They can't get hired for positions relevant to their experience so they apply for jobs at lower levels. The problem is that they can't get hired for those positions, either, because they're overqualified.

"Employers are in the catbird seat," says Kathryn Sollmann, co-founder and managing partner of the Women@Work Network. "The high volume of job seekers makes it possible for employers to hold out for their ideal candidates. You're not an ideal candidate if you have held a more senior position in the past; employers assume you will leave as soon as you find something at your normal level."

What's the deal?

Assuming you'll jump ship when the economy turns around is only one of the many objections employers have to hiring overqualified candidates. For one thing, many job seekers assume that their high credentials automatically mean they are skilled for a more junior job. But, Sollmann says, just because a position is less senior than the one you previously held does not mean that you have the appropriate skills to succeed in that role.

"Take an administrative position, for example. Many mid- to senior-level job seekers haven't done anything remotely administrative for years," she says.

Right or wrong, other assumptions hiring managers might have about hiring overqualified candidates include:

• You'll be bored and unmotivated
• The salary will be too low for you
• You'll be unhappy
• You'll leave the minute something better comes along
• You could possibly steal his/her job
• You won't be able to step down from a leadership role

Hiring managers take overqualified candidates seriously only if they are convincing about a valid reason they want to take a more junior-level job, Sollmann says.

The best reason is saying you have decided that you don't want to work crazy schedules and are interested in a better work/life balance, she says. If that's the truth and you're truly not looking over your shoulder for a senior-level job, employers will consider you for a more junior job.

Tucker says the doubt he gets from hiring managers regarding his experience is unfair.

"They should consider my above-par qualifications as a way to gain additional capabilities on their staff and team. I will bring just as much passion to this role as I would any other," he says. "I would not apply for a job if it weren't a fit for me. It's about the work I'm doing and the contributions I'm making that matter."

If you're being told you're overqualified during your job search, here are seven ways to convince your interviewer otherwise:

1. Admit that you're worried, too

Tell the hiring manager that you are also concerned that it might not be a fit, suggests Duncan Mathison, co-author of "The Truth about the Hidden Job Market." Promise that if at any point during the hiring process you think the job appears too low or not one where you will bring the full engagement needed to excel in the position, you will withdraw your candidacy. Your willingness to walk away tells them you are motivated if you stay in the game.

2. Take salary off the table

Make it clear that you're flexible about salary and that your previous earnings are not relevant to your current job search.

"Tell the hiring manager that you work for both green dollars and personal satisfaction dollars," Sollmann says. "Lately you've had a deficit in personal satisfaction dollars and you want a chance to try something new."

3. Put the issue out there

Ask the interviewer if he or she sees any positives or negatives to your candidacy based on your higher qualifications. Get the issue on the table so it can be addressed, Mathison suggests.

4. Use your accomplishments

"Tell the hiring manager that you're proud of your accomplishments and you have proven to yourself that you can perform at a more senior level," Sollmann says. "Now you're not interested in chasing titles and promotions. You want to make a contribution at a compelling company."

5. Distance yourself from your higher qualifications

Be empathetic to those parts of the hiring manager's job -- indicate that you have a clearer understanding of what a manager needs from his people.

"For example, say you were a manager and are applying to an individual contributor job," Mathison says. "Tell the hiring manager that you are looking for a job that would give you more hands-on technical work and give you a break from the people management and corporate politics."

6. You want to learn

If you've held more senior positions at a different kind of company or in a different industry, tell the hiring manager that the best way to really learn about a new industry is from the bottom up, Sollmann says.

7. Make a commitment

"Tell the employer that you know that job hopping is a major don't in the business world. Say that barring unforeseen circumstances, you are ready to make at least a two-year commitment to the company," Sollmann suggests. ( msn.com )

READ MORE - What to Do When You're Labeled 'Overqualified'

Bad-Girl Sex Tricks

Bad-Girl Sex Tricks. All men secretly crave boundary-pushing action in bed, so whip out these moves to wow him like crazy.

Bad girls are legendary — a guy who’s been with one practically passes out from bliss when he talks about his experience. You might be thinking, “Who, me? Be a bad girl?” But any woman who wants to can wake up her hibernating vixen...and have a damn good time doing it!

See, bed-devil status is about a fearless attitude, not how much sexual experience you have or whether you wear leather. “Guys dig when women are unbridled and uninhibited, push their own boundaries, break the rules, and ask for what they want,” says Barbara Keesling, PhD, author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex. So we boiled down the naughty qualities that make some women stand out, then came up with seven audacious ideas for putting them into play. These tips and tricks will forever crank up the heat in your sex life.

DARE: Be the Boss in Bed Tonight

A wickedly sexy woman knows how to deliciously exploit the power she has over a man. Tell your guy to lie down on the bed, then use handcuffs, scarves, or a necktie to tether his hands together so he can’t touch you. (If you're not game to use real restraints, you can simply hold his hands over his head.)

Next, "you want to torture him playfully with your teasing,” says sex expert Candida Royalle, author of How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do. “Slowly kiss your way down his torso, and just as you get to his pelvis, move back up to his ears and neck.”

As you tantalize him and he strains to touch you, ask him to tell you why he wants you so bad, explaining that you won’t let him free until he convinces you. Once he’s pleaded his case, release his hands, roll onto your back , and allow him to take over. After building up the erotic anticipation, it’ll be like setting a windup toy loose on your body...and hearing him describe how hot you are will turbocharge your experience too.

DARE: Slip into a Naughty Costume

To infuse your sex sessions with more attitude, sometimes all it takes is looking the part of a true temptress. “One of the ways a woman can really show off her sexuality is by playing up different sides of her erotic personality,” explains Jamye Waxman, author of Getting Off.

If you’re feeling like a flirty, girlie tease, put on a white cotton undie set or pale pink lingerie and pull your hair into a ponytail, or don a schoolgirl-like plaid miniskirt with an oxford shirt tied above your navel. To become an X-rated seductress, wear something red or black in sheer fabric or lace, then add crimson lipstick and nails. “Outfits not only help you get in the moment, they also give him a visual turn-on and inspiration,” adds Waxman.

Just standing there in your flimsy finest may be enough, but a few teasing lines will definitely get the ball rolling. When playing the innocent card, say it’s your first time, and ask him what you should do. As a seductress, whisper all the different ways and places you want to touch him.

DARE: Learn to Talk Dirty

Moans and sighs (Oh! Oh!) are easy. It’s the dirty dialogue that really puts a triple-X stamp on your sex sessions. “Talking dirty heightens the whole experience, keeps you both present, and turns you on even more,” says Royalle. “Plus, men actually like being told what to do in bed because it helps them get it right.”

First tell him how freakin’ good he feels. (Tongue-tied? Try no-fail lines like “You feel so/You make me [adjective]”; “I love it when you [verb] my [body part].”) Then you’re set to show him the way to send you soaring, with something like, “Oooh, almost there. I need your [noun] on my [body part], just like this.”

DARE: Watch Yourselves Having Sex

Body confidence and carnal curiosity are key traits of a sex goddess, and both are on full display when you make a sex tape. “Seeing yourselves midact gives you a voyeuristic thrill, almost as though you’re peeping into your own bedroom. It feels taboo,” explains Royalle. “You also get to see how your partner is responding and how you look when you’re getting off.” If you’re worried about becoming the next Kim Kardashian, skip the tape and just hook the video camera directly up to a television in your bedroom — without recording — and watch yourselves while you’re going at it.

Since missionary doesn’t exactly make for good TV, get into racier positions where you’re facing the camera. Go for doggie-style so you can both see the action or girl-on-top so you can watch exactly how you move. And definitely get shots exchanging oral sex so you can see the orgasmic effect you have on each other.

DARE: Summon His Buried Bad Boy

Bad girls are known to capture a few prisoners in the sack, but a bold bedroom chick also enjoys enacting her own fantasies, shame-free. And one of women’s top fantasies is to be taken. “It’s a turn-on to feel like he wants you so bad, he just can’t help himself,” explains Keesling. “Plus, when he’s being aggressive, you have to fully give up the reins, which can help you be even more in the here and now.”

Instruct your guy to hide behind the door and “surprise” you by taking charge when you get home one night. He can either have his way with you right in the foyer or pull you into the bedroom. Or let him know that you’re in the mood but want him to conquer you, caveman-style, even if it means playfully wrestling you to the bed as you try to slip out of his grasp.

DARE: Give Him a Jolt

Breaking out of your touch-here-then-lick-there routine adds a lusty layer to the erotic experience. And fearless sexual playmates know that unexpectedly intense sexual maneuvers are even more exciting. “A forceful touch snaps your guy into the moment and heightens every sensation that follows,” says Royalle. “The spontaneity also keeps him anticipating each touch, magnifying his excitement.” Plus, the implied roughness invites him to tap in to his primal, wild sexual self.

Grip his butt hard while in missionary, scratch his chest and the sides of his torso while in girl-on-top, or yank his head toward you to give him a passionate, damn-straight kind of kiss. If those moves elicit an excited response, firmly spank his butt, lightly bite his shoulder, or tug his hair in the act, you devilish thing.

DARE: Try Some Naughty Props

Do something unexpected with toys you already have lying around the house.

Hairbrush: A hard-bristled hairbrush is perfect for gently scratching his skin.

Rolling pin: Run this baker’s basic over his back and thighs during an erotic massage.

Blush brush: Skip the pricey feathers you find at sex shops, and use this to tickle his neck, chest, arms, and package.

( cosmopolitan.com )

READ MORE - Bad-Girl Sex Tricks

Five Down 'n' Dirty Sex Games

Five Down 'n' Dirty Sex Games. This might be hard to believe, but it's actually possible to make your sex life even hotter. The key: fun sex games.

1. Truth or Dare

Write out five dares -- anything from trying on a sexy outfit to a silly stunt -- on separate pieces of paper. Place them in a bowl. Now take turns asking each other naughty questions, such as, "What's the most unusual place you've ever wanted to have sex?" If you don't answer, dip into the pot and select a dare.

2. Forfeit

Bring treats into the bedroom that have small, easy-to-write-with nozzles, like frosting, chocolate sauce, and whipped cream. Write a naughty word on your partner's body. If they guess the word correctly, they get a small taste of the treat. If they guess wrong, they pay a forfeit by swapping places with you.

3. Wish List

You both think of three sexual things you've always wanted to try and then write them down on separate pieces of paper. Fold them (marked with your initials) and mix 'em up. Take turns drawing out one of the other's wishes, agreeing in advance to at least give it a try.

4. Strip Poker

Poker's all the rage these days; now make it spicy. The loser bares all, and the winner sees all. If you're not poker fans, you can do this with any card game of your choice. You could even try strip chess, strip Monopoly, whatever. Once one of you has stripped completely, the lovemaking begins with the winner choosing the position.

5. What Is It?

Your partner lies down blindfolded. You lubricate different parts of your body -- fingers, chin, tip of the nose, nipple, and so on. You then touch your partner in various places. They have to guess which body part it is. If they guess correctly, you perform a sex act with that body part that only pleases them. ( thenest.com )

READ MORE - Five Down 'n' Dirty Sex Games

Seven Relationship Mistakes Even the Smartest Couples Make

Seven Relationship Mistakes Even the Smartest Couples Make

Keep your relationship on the right track by avoiding these common pitfalls.

Mistake #1:

Not Dealing with Debt

Newsflash: Money is the #1 thing couples fight about. Fess up about your personal debt -- because for better or worse -- and then set up a financial game plan with our budgeter.

Mistake #2:

Alienating Your Friends

Friends are key for a successful marriage, so tag along on those girl's nights out. Just because you're not guy-hunting doesn't mean you can't be a supportive wingwoman.

Mistake #3:

Not Having Enough Sex

Over 60 percent of newlyweds we surveyed were already in a sex rut! Yeah you're busy, but that's not a good enough excuse not to get busy. Initiate sex, even if you don't feel like it or have to schedule it. If you get in the habit of having it, you'll start wanting it (and liking it) more.

Mistake #4:

Letting Yourself Go

So you put on the "newlywed nine." Big whup...you've already found your mate, right? Wrong! Make a plan to get fit together or at least respect each other's goals.

Mistake #5:

Out-lawing the In-laws

Fifty percent of couples we surveyed have a problematic relationship with their in-laws (ya think?). Manage expectations, like saying you'll call on Sundays so his mom doesn't guilt-trip you for ignoring her weekday messages. Even if your spouse is bitching about his family, resist the urge to chime in. It'll bite you in the butt later.

Mistake #6:

Crazy Fighting

Getting hitched isn't a free pass to hit below the belt (sorry!). When you're getting really heated, walk away to cool down for a few minutes.

Mistake #7:

Becoming Baby-Obsessed

It's easy to fixate on that next big step, but chill out -- the average couple has a kid within three years of marriage. So really, why rush? Savor the moments (and vacations you can take!) now...when you won't have to be waking up for a brutal 4 a.m. feeding. ( thenest.com )

READ MORE - Seven Relationship Mistakes Even the Smartest Couples Make

More fact than myth

More fact than myth. Men cringe at the thought and many scoff at the idea that men go through a form of menopause. Yet more and more research is pointing to the fact men may indeed go through a "change of life".

Age-related hormonal changes appear to have just as much of a health impact on men as they do in women. So why does the concept of andropause (the "male menopause") still appear to be taboo?

The answer, according to Professor Mohamed Haffejee, head of Urology at the University of the Witwatersrand, is quite simple: men just don't take it seriously. They also don't know what they're looking for.

"In women, the changes that come with menopause are sudden, but with men they're gradual," he said. Men just assume they're seeing the inevitable consequences of the passage of time.

The science behind male menopause

Male menopause, also referred to as androgen decline in the ageing male (ADAM), late-onset hypogonadism (LOH), or testosterone deficiency syndrome (TDS), is when the levels of the sex hormone testosterone start declining.

Men experience a gradual decline in the production of the testosterone from their late-30s onwards. This may pose no problems, but where it does, and if the symptoms are recognised in time and the appropriate medical support is given, it's entirely treatable.

Recognising the symptoms is the challenge. They're of a subtle and unsurprising nature, but they can lead to life-threatening spin-offs, such as cancer and heart disease. With age, and a decrease in testosterone, there is an increase in a number of risk factors, like stress, obesity, hypertension and diabetes.

So which comes first: low testosterone or the risk factors? Does one lead to the other or do they occur separately and then exacerbate each other? Haffejee explains: "Obesity lowers your testosterone levels and a low testosterone is associated with obesity. It's the same with diabetes. It would be safe to say that each risk factor compounds the next and that each risk factor needs to be addressed on its own merit."

Symptoms of TDS include:

• A lack of energy and vitality
• Loss of sexual desire or libido
• A decrease in the quality of erections
• Mood swings and depression.

Ignorance and denial can be deadly

"Men are not educated enough on this and are often in denial about their symptoms with the 'it will get better' attitude. This is one of the reasons the rates of 'self-inflicted' death such as cancer and heart disease, are much higher in men than women, and why men die prematurely," said Haffejee.

He added that generally men have short-term goals when it comes to their health, and unlike women, they don't see looking after their health as an investment. This, he said, was why a new approach towards men's healthcare was urgently needed.

It was with this in mind he urged women to take note of the changes in their partner and ensure they seek medical advice as soon as possible.

"Symptoms such as erectile dysfunction should be seen as an opportunity for the patient and doctor to undertake an overall health check rather than simply prescribe medications such as Viagra, Levitra or Cialis. While these medications may assist with the ED they do nothing to treat the potential underlying causes such as heart disease. Often the symptom of ED is a precursor to cardiovascular disease - it should thus be seen as an 'early warning'," he said.

And just in case the seriousness of the situation is not clear enough, he added that if the symptoms of ED are ignored, this will almost certainly result in one, if not more of the following:

• Decreased life expectancy
• Increased cardiovascular risk (including type 2 diabetes)
• Poor lipid profile and obesity
• Decreased bone density with increased risk of fractures
• Overall decrease in quality of life issues such as decreased sex drive, sleep disturbances, lack of energy, poor concentration and goal directed activity, erectile dysfunction and loss of muscle mass.

Doctors agree – awareness is key

Dr Sindeep Bhana, physician and endocrinologist at Chris Hani Baragwanath Hospital, believes that part of this new approach should include an awareness of how chronic diseases such as diabetes and metabolic syndrome affect men. And more importantly, how this affects their testosterone levels and overall health.

"It may sound confusing, but each risk factor carries a number of other risk factors with it. For example erectile dysfunction (ED) puts men at risk of high cholesterol, diabetes, cardiovascular disease. And the longer the risk factors go untreated, the harder it will be to combat them," he said.

It appears it is a vicious cycle, and Bhana urged men to ask their doctors to test their testosterone levels.

"TDS can decrease sexual desire, affect erections and alter the body's composition; this affects the other organs in the body and therefore affects one's quality of life. But through a healthy diet, management of testosterone levels and exercise, risk factors can be reduced and prevented," he said.

How dangerous is LOH?

According to Bhana, it's likely that hypogonadism is a fundamental component of the metabolic syndrome.

"Testosterone treatment may not only treat hypogonadism, but may also have tremendous potential to slow or halt the progression from metabolic syndrome to overt diabetes or cardiovascular disease," he said.

And by default, all components of metabolic syndrome (hypertension, dyslipidemia, diabetes, obesity etc) are underlying conditions for erectile dysfunction. Thus, men should be alerted that if they wake up without morning erections they should have themselves checked out by their doctors immediately.

Bhana said that abdominal obesity is the number one risk factor in metabolic syndrome and testosterone deficiency syndrome is a proven risk factor for all the metabolic syndrome components according to most recent research.

"Many patients with metabolic syndrome are locked in a vicious circle: Abdominal fat tissue reduces testosterone, but testosterone reduces the fat tissue," he said.

Is testosterone treatment effective?

Healthy living is first prize. For some, though, testosterone treatment may be the only option.

"Testosterone treatment has received a lot of bad press recently because of its abuse by gym goers. An excess of testosterone has many nasty side-effects such as acne, weight-gain, aggression and hair loss. But since clinical trials all show long-acting testosterone has many benefits, in moderation it is an effective treatment," said Bhana.

So how does it actually work? Haffejee said testosterone preparations are available as tablets, gels, patches, pellets and injection.

"Currently available in South Africa we have the long-acting intramuscular injection which usually needs to be administered every three months. The gels are not available locally yet and the short-acting injectables are not ideal in that blood levels are not constant, and may result in supranormal levels which are responsible for largely preventable side effects which include mood swings including 'roid rage', acne and breast enlargement in men. Oral preparations need to be taken three times a day which makes compliance difficult," he said.

On the downside, men who still wish to have children are strongly advised not to undergo testosterone treatment. Sportsmen, took, should be wary: professional sports bodies ban any substance that raises competitors' testosterone levels.

"There are some sporting events which will allow you to declare that you are on the treatment for medical reasons, but this is still a grey area in the world of sport,' said Bhana.

The third major drawback is the price: it costs at between R4 000 and R5 000 a year, and has to be motivated before medical aid will pay for it. ( health24.com )

READ MORE - More fact than myth

Why women have sex

Why women have sex -- What makes a woman want to have sex? Is it physical attraction? Love? Loneliness? Jealousy? Boredom? Painful menstrual cramps?

It turns out that woman have sex for all of these reasons and more, and that their choices are not arbitrary; there may be evolutionary explanations at work.

Psychologists Cindy Meston and David Buss, both professors at the University of Texas at Austin, decided that the topic of "why women have sex" deserved a book of its own. They've woven scientific research together with a slew of women's voices in their new collaborative work, "Why Women Have Sex," published September 29 by Times Books.

Many women interviewed were having sex purely because they wanted the experience.

"We do bring in men occasionally by way of contrast, but we wanted to focus exclusively on women so that the complexity of women's sexual psychology was not given the short shrift, so to speak," said Buss, a leading evolutionary psychologist.

The authors conducted a study from June 2006 to April 2009 that asked women whether they had ever had sex for one of 237 reasons, all of which had emerged in a previous study. About 1,000 women contributed their perspectives.

It turns out that women's reasons for having sex range from love to pure pleasure to a sense of duty to curiosity to curing a headache. Some women just want to please their partners, and others want an ego boost.

Buss said he found it surprising how dramatically and variably sexual experience seemed to influence women's feelings of self-esteem.

"Some sexual experiences that women in our study reported just had devastating effects and long-lasting negative effects on their feelings of self-worth," he said. "But then for others, their sexual experiences provided the soaring height of euphoria and made them feel alive and vibrant."

Meston said some 20-somethings defied the gender stereotypes that women should be more chaste than men and not sleep around as much.

"Many of the women were having sex purely because they wanted the experience, they wanted the adventure, they wanted to see what it was like to be with men of different ethnicities," she said. "Some women said they wanted more notches on the belt. They simply wanted to get rid of their virginity."

Some women have sex to make money, and not just in the conventional manner of prostitution. A woman from California who goes by "Natalie Dylan" garnered national attention this year with her campaign to sell her virginity and said in January that her top bid of $3.8 million came from a 39-year-old Australian.

There are more factors that influence a woman's sex drive than a man's, the authors said, and the factors that make men attractive to women -- personality, sense of humor, self-confidence, status -- are less important considerations for men when they are choosing women.

There is also evidence that sexual arousal is more complicated for women than for men, the authors report.

A study from Meston's lab showed a strong correlation between how erect a man's penis is and how aroused he says he is. By contrast, the link is much weaker between a woman's physical arousal (as measured inside her vagina) and the arousal she says she feels, the researchers found. This is why drugs to treat erectile dysfunction such as Viagra don't work as well in women, the authors said.

That makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, even though men and women may not consciously think about their choices that way, the authors said. If the goal of a man is to spread his genes, he would need to look for signs of fertility in a woman, which are historically associated with physical cues, Buss said.

"The adaptive problem that women have had to solve is not simply picking a man who is fertile but a man who perhaps will invest in her, a man who won't inflict costs on her, a man who might have good genes that could be conveyed to her children," he said.

In this context, women must also be more selective, because wrong choices can lead to much higher costs than for men: pregnancy and child-rearing.

In studies, women have consistently shown preferences for men with symmetrical bodies, a subtle mark of genetic fitness and status, the book said. In fact, simply by smelling T-shirts that men had worn for two nights, women judged the odors of symmetrical men to be the most attractive, and the asymmetrical men's odors the least attractive, in one study.

Still, symmetry isn't everything, Meston and Buss said. They pointed to singer-songwriter Lyle Lovett as someone with other positive attributes, such as musical talent and personality, who has clearly done well with women despite asymmetrical features.

"Women are evaluating men on multiple attributes," Buss said.

Kissing also turns out to be more important for women than for men in some respects: In one study, 53 percent of men said they would have sex without kissing, but only 15 percent of women said they would even consider sex without smooching first, the book said. For women, kissing is "an emotional litmus test," the authors wrote.

The medicinal value of sex also comes into play for some women, the book said. Sex can help a woman relax and sleep better, and it can ease the pain of menstrual cramps and headaches -- and some survey participants cited these as reasons they've had sex.

A study from Rutgers University found that, during orgasm, women were able to tolerate 75 percent more pain. Though Meston has not studied the phenomenon in men, she said she would expect sex to have the same effects of reducing headaches and other pain.

The authors collected stories from 1,006 women from 46 states, eight Canadian provinces, three European countries and Australia, New Zealand, Israel and China. Participants came from a variety of ethnic and religious -- as well as non-religious -- backgrounds and socioeconomic statuses. About 80 percent of the women said they were in a relationship at the time, and 93 percent said they were predominantly or exclusively heterosexual.

The book also explores how women's perception of sex may change over time, according to whom they're with and whether they are married.

A 26-year-old heterosexual woman wrote, "When I was single, I had sex for my own personal pleasure. Now that I am married, I have sex to please my husband. My own pleasure doesn't seem as important as his. I believe he feels the same way." ( cnn.com )

READ MORE - Why women have sex

Evolution's big fat (adorable) mistake?

Evolution's big fat (adorable) mistake?. Their unlikely perseverance seems to argue against 'survival of the fittest'. The recent death of Ling-Ling, the only giant panda owned by Japan, sent the world into mourning. Everything about these giant teddy bears — their squat, furry bodies, their sad black eyes, their especially vulnerable babies (often compared to sticks of butter) — makes them ridiculously, scientifically cute. This, along with their dire status as a species, makes them a powerful symbol for the conservation movement as a whole.

But there’s another side of the panda’s tale. Pandas have been ridiculed for their decidedly non-bearlike vegetarian diets, their apparent lack of interest in — and aptitude for — sex, their tendency to spend the majority of their time sitting, eating, scratching, and defecating (about 40 times per day) — even for being, shall we say, plump. These rather "unfit" characteristics have made the giant panda a favorite animal of creationists, who argue that the panda’s survival proves the existence of God. How is it, they ask, that such a species could have "evolved" to be so poorly suited for survival and could have lasted these "alleged" tens of thousands of years without a little help from a higher power?

Liu Jin / AFP - Getty Images

Two pandas have their breakfasts at the China Conservation and Research Center for the Giant Panda in Wolong Nature Reserve in this 2006 file photo.

Vegetarians

One of the panda's curious adaptations is its remarkably inefficient diet. Like other bears, and like omnivores and carnivores, pandas have short digestive systems, making them ill suited for their preferred diet of fibrous, nutrient-poor bamboo. To obtain sufficient nutrients, pandas must eat almost a fourth of their weight in bamboo every day. Pandas also favor young bamboo sprouts, which have even less nutrition; if they eat only these, they must chomp down almost half of their weight daily.

But according to Megan Owen, a conservation specialist at the San Diego Zoo, there is a possible evolutionary explanation for the panda's seemingly foolish preference for bamboo: lack of competition. When pandas split off from the bear lineage about 3 million years ago, tasty and nutritious cuisine like meat, fruit, and nuts may have been difficult to obtain while bamboo was ubiquitous — a wide-open ecological niche. So there were two choices: Exert some serious effort to get the good stuff, or munch away on a seemingly inexhaustible supply of woody grasses.

The panda accommodated its vegetarianism with a few physical adaptations — enlarged chewing muscles (those adorable jowls), their famous "thumbs," and a slightly modified digestive system (though still far more similar to a carnivore's than to an herbivore's). But the most notable adaptations were behavioral. Pandas must minimize energy expenditure in every aspect of their lives: limiting locomotion and mating periods, having a low surface area-to-volume ratio (i.e., being fat) to conserve heat, and sleeping as much as possible. Energy conservation also explains their endearingly tiny and helpless young: According to Lisa Stevens of the Smithsonian National Zoological Park, it is much more efficient to give birth to very small, undeveloped cubs and raise them externally on milk than to expend energy on their development internally.

Sex

The biggest argument for the intelligent design crowd is the panda’s mating habits. If natural selection drives the formation of species, how did an animal that needs porn, Viagra, and sexercise to mate ever make it? Pandas, IDists believe, are up against some serious hurdles when it comes to having sex: The male penis is disproportionately small, females seldom go into heat, and males do not instinctively know how to mate, among other problems.

Take, for example, Hsing-Hsing and Ling-Ling, the cherished panda couple of the Smithsonian National Zoo, whose relationship had been shaky since ever they were introduced in 1976. Hsing-Hsing failed at his early attempts to inseminate Ling-Ling — not much of a surprise, considering he tried to mate with her ear, wrist, and foot. The zoo then tried and failed at artificial insemination, after which it imported a male, Chia-Chia, from London to mate with Ling-Ling. Instead of mating with Ling-Ling, though, Chia-Chia mauled her. Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing eventually got better at sex, and Ling-Ling gave birth to five cubs between 1983 and 1989 — one who was stillborn, four who died within days.

But Hsing-Hsing and Ling-Ling — and fruitless panda cohabitants in zoos everywhere—are not representative of the species, says Matt Durnin, a conservation specialist with the Nature Conservancy’s China Program. "Reproduction is not a limiting factor in the wild—they seem to be doing fine out there. We only see problems in captivity because the way they live there is in such contrast to their natural lives."

In the wild, male pandas compete with each other for females, who then select their mates —behaviors inextricably linked to the natural motivation for mating. "If you pull a man and a woman off the street and stick them in a room together," Durnin says, "you can't just expect them to start making babies." As for the male panda's embarrassing lack of sex know-how, Durnin says it may be an unfortunate consequence of breeders' desire to maximize cub production. In the wild, panda cubs usually stay with their mothers for about two years; breeding centers in China remove cubs at about six months to a year to make sure the mother ovulates during the next breeding season." Young pandas are thus denied an important period of social interaction and the opportunity to observe appropriate mating behavior.

The purported physical problems — genitalia size and mating period — are greatly dramatized. It's true that females are in heat for only three days or so per year, but that mating period is only slightly shorter than most other bears'. And as for the mismatched genitalia, Owen says it's not a big deal. "They get the job done," she says. Big penises may seem more effective, but many large mammals — particularly other bears — have relatively small ones. "It's definitely a struggle to get correct positioning, but if they're motivated, they do what they need to do."

Reproduction in captivity has greatly improved since the difficult days of Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing. Intra-couple fighting can be avoided by putting males and females together only when the female is receptive — a state that panda specialists can now accurately determine by the female's behavior. And cubs now have a survival rate close to 100 percent, Owen says, "possibly due to the undisturbed environment that zoos are trying to create." Some zoos are also experimenting with leaving the cubs with their mothers for longer and sheltering them from gawking tourists, but the effects have not yet been analyzed.

So it's true: Pandas did not evolve … in zoos. They evolved to find their own food and seek out their mates in dense bamboo forests after being raised by their real mothers, not by zookeepers. The panda's weaknesses in today's world—from its failure to reproduce in captivity to its yawn-inspiring lifestyle — is a product of its natural history, not a malicious joke of an intelligent designer.

Humanity's experience with pandas has shown us that saving the species is not going to be easy — or cheap. In fact, eminent conservationist Chris Packham has called panda conservation "possibly one of the grossest wastes of conservation money in the last half century.” He said he "would eat the last panda" if it meant he could transfer all the money thrown at pandas to other, "more sensible" species (like insects, rodents, and plants) or to entire habitats. ( discovermagazine.com )

READ MORE - Evolution's big fat (adorable) mistake?